So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
