So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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