the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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