I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
