The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
