And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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