apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
These tits shall not be calmed
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
