i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
