so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
