Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
