at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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