I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
