I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize