Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
can u get pink eye on your cock?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
