i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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