I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
