True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
