And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
