He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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