How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
