Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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