I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Mom said you looked used
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
