it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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