So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize