Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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