Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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