...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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