One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
