he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
