Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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