So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
