dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
