exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
