Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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