John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
love makes seman taste better
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
