sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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