He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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