there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
