I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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