The maid of honor just puked.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
