She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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