this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
