Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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