Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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