ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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