We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
