Fine. I'll sleep in my office
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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