Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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