This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
