even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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