I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize