apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
