apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
