Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
