I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
God, I missed his penis.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
