how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
