but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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