My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
