If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
