I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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